Onli in da Pilipins: 10 Things Filipinos Wish They Were Free From, Forevermore

By Aby Yap

So we take the bad with the good—and for that, every single one of us deserves a sparkly monument in Luneta! Because frankly speaking, it takes true martyrdom and sheer love of ‘Pinas to deal with the worst each day of our lives without calling it quits. We could only wish upon a star that none of these ever have to happen for as long as we live.

1. Traffic

The story of our lives. The dire situation of our main thoroughfares pays no heed to the basic right to get to one’s destination sans the stress. Traffic shaves a minimum of four hours off our daily existence – time we could use for something more meaningful than cursing MMDA.   

2. BV

Shoo, Bad Vibes! Our morning officially starts with Facebook checking (or check-in) and it doesn’t help make the day worth looking forward to when news feeds reek of bashing, bullying, and beast-mode posts. Loosen up, people! It’s a wonderful world.  

3. Corruption

Everyone claims to be vehemently against it and yet would rather settle traffic violations with a Ninoy bill when caught. So much for the son’s tuwid na daan (face-palms). Lest we forget, corruption isn’t exclusive to politicians, though they undoubtedly earn more.     

4. Gossip

While it can prevent the rise of serial killers in our midst, think of all the lives tsismis could ruin. The fathers who work hard, the mothers who love unconditionally, the daughters… you get the drift. Let’s just stick to cracking showbiz blind items.

5. Brokenness

This #hugot goes to MRT/LRT. It’s One-More-Chance level heartbreaking to ride one. The AC malfunctions. The doors don’t close even while the train is running. The train suddenly stops and we have to walk on the railroad tracks to get out of misery.   

6. War

As Boy George sang, it’s stupid. There’s no sense fighting over who’s the most kilig love team today. The truth hurts, but JaDine, AlDub, KathNiel, and LizQuen don’t care. We have too much going on in the Spratly Islands and Mindanao to worry about it.  

7. Trapos

So what do you do with trapos, or worn-out rags in English? You throw them away. That’s what we should be doing to our traditional politicians then—pronto! Because we’re already sick and tired of the same, old, and boring lies este rhetoric, mga kababayan.

8. Elections

This warrants its own space after what happened in the craziest election ever in Philippine history. Friendships ended. Monsters arose. Logic died and nearly everyone became fantards. A national apocalypse every six years will have us all bleeding to death. Never again.

9. OA-ness

To be declared persona non grata for calling someone hipon or shrimp (zero face value, though very sexy) is a little too much. But we’re over-reacting, touchy, and juvenile like that. It’s an acceptable behavior as our telenovelas can attest, where everyone is in a sigawan/ sabunutan/ sampalan fest.   

10. Philippine Passport

Traitors we’re certainly not, but we’ve grown weary of being treated like second-class travellers. We demand equality, and the understanding that not every Pinoy plans to go on TNT (Tago Nang Tago)! A lot of us simply want to Travel Nang Travel. Visa denied is dream shattered.    

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ABY YAP

What makes the Pinoy tick? Aby Yap’s long-running column “Onli in Da Pilipins” often answers that question. She talks about artistas, the pabebe, and the familiar Pinoy life, turning it into something fun and extraordinary. With a talent for finding every Juan’s funny bone, Aby’s wit and obvious affection makes the Filipino a whole lot more lovable.

Find more of Aby Yap’s articles here on Illustrado Life.