How to Stay Faithful
By Roman Guevara
It’s so sad sometimes to hear of couples breaking up, especially if there is a third party. But how can a third party ruin a very good relationship? This happens when someone in a relationship becomes unfaithful. And in the age of the Internet, the opportunities to pursue interests that are outside of relationship have become perilously more abundant. How to stay faithful in these modern, cyber-centric times? Allow me to offer some tips.
Accept the possibility that anyone can be unfaithful. Even yourself.
Not everyone will agree to this. You may have even said this yourself: that you will always be faithful to your partner. but human nature can always kick in. We are but human. We have weaknesses. We have our low moments. We get tempted, lonely, unhappy, or maybe even plainly just curious. And then, it hits us – that e are just like everyone else. Our relationship is just like everyone else. It can succeed. It can also fail.
Accepting that we too can be unfaithful can actually help us.This can change how we behave, handle the people who come to our lives, and protect our relationship, especially if we have invested so much into it.
Make your relationship known on social media.
Let everyone know you are taken. Change your status to “In A Relationship.” Post pictures of you and your partner, together. If you are married and with children, make it a habit to post your family pictures. Now, it’s true – someone who is hellbent on pursuing you will pursue you no matter how often you declare that you are no longer single, but constantly providing evidence of your relationship status may be a good deterrent. We tend to brag about the things we are happy about. Indulge yourself on the occasional relationship bragging.
Give your partner full access to all your social media accounts and devices.
I understand how this idea can be polarizing, but if you think about it, it is simply the logical endpoint of the trust and openness that must be present in any relationship. Others would argue that they need some kind of privacy, even from their partners, lovers, or even husbands and wives – but the plain truth is that if you are indeed faithful, then you have nothing to hide. Trust thrives where it is nurtured and encouraged. This holds water even in the cyberspace.
How to Stay Faithful
Don’t add your ex and people you are attracted to on social media.
Not unless your ex and your current are now best buddies, which is obviously a very rare phenomenon, you should avoid all forms of communication with them, and with anyone you may be attracted to. Just. Don’t. Do. It. If you truly value your relationship, then it should be easy to imagine how something like this could be plain common sense. If you keep a door open, sooner or later, someone will come in. So close that door.
Tell your partner everything.
Don’t keep secrets. Never lie. If you love someone, you will be honest with that person – even to the point of telling your partner if you are attracted to another. This may be hard for others to do, and may altogether dismiss this as unnecessary. But, if you truly love one another, you will talk often, you will share ideas, you will be open to one another about anything and everything, even things that are difficult, awkward, embarrassing, and painful.
Avoid situations where you will be tempted.
A lot of people make this mistake that faithfulness is a given – that it is present in the relationship by default. This is incorrect. Faithfulness is a constant habit. It is defined by the choices you make. If you find yourself in a situation where your integrity is compromised, get out of it as soon as you can – and don’t go seeking it out
If you feel that what you’re doing is wrong, it’s wrong. Stop it.
Okay. You are not unfaithful – at least not yet. But there is someone else right now on your mind. Nothing has happened yet, but this person is triggering reckless impulses in you. You are just “friends,” sure – but not really. There is something… something… Ok, STOP. Just tell yourself, STOP. Faithfulness is a choice – a decision. Decide to do the right thing, and instead, remember whom you really love. Remember who really loves you.
Spiritual advisor. Life Coach. Rockstar. Roman Guevara, better known as “Kuya Roman,” has made an indelible mark in the Filipino community in the GCC with his unique brand of empowerment. In this issue, he talks about how what people should do when they feel empty. Get in touch with him on Facebook: www.facebook.com/romanguevaraRU